1 year

This was the worst day of my entire life, I will never forget handing my baby over to the doctors and falling to the floor bawling hysterically. It's been a year since his heart surgery, I'm so happy and thankful it was a one time surgery and he's fixed now. Being at primary children's hospital and seeing all the sick babies is a nightmare and knowing how much they have to go through is horrible. I know pax could have been in a lot worse situation. I hate to admit this experience has forever changed me and now I worry horribly when my kids sick, I get such bad anxiety now I can't move, eat, sleep I'm a zombie. I hope one day I will relax more and get over my fear and have another baby. I'm so proud of brave little man. He's happy and healthy now!!! I know I'm behind on posting this, his year date was April 9th. I have been dreading thinking back on this day.

These are SO HARD for me to look at. I just bawl like a baby. i'm SO GLAD its over with.

 Holding mommy's finger

 These are when he was in the cardiac ICU he had a chest tube.

 The first day he got moved to a regular room, all he wanted was french fries.

 My mom playing with pax.

 His first sponge bath

 Cute little bum.

 Wagon ride.

 The first time i got to hold him after his surgery, about 24 hours later.