Valentines day and more sick days

Since my last post about paxton and his surgery we scheduled his surgery for feb. 26th. The nurse on the phone told me he couldn't get sick before his surgery, When i scheduled it, we had 3 weeks until his surgery, how in the hell was i supposed to keep him healthy in the midst of flu season? Well as you could imagine paisley became ill, and i tried my HARDEST to keep him healthy, i mean even making her wear a mask yes a 3 year old and a mask don't mix well. after a few days of her being sick, she looked really bad, like on her death bed bad. so off to the doctor she went and sure enough she had influenza, but it had already been 3 days so she couldn't have tamiflu, luckily her pediatrician new about our situation with pax and gave all 3 of us tamiflu. so we started taking it pronto. well she started feeling better this past weekend and we were all doing good so i thought we dodged a bullet, WRONGO pax started coughing a little on Monday and we just thought maybe a little dry throat, nope he is full blown sick today. you see you can take tamiflu two ways, the first way is if you have the flu you take 2 doses a day for 5 days, but you can take it once a day for 10 days to prevent the flu, since we weren't sick when we started taking it we have only been taking it once a day. i did find out today that if we think pax has it that we can bump his dose up to twice a day to see if it will shorten the illness. so im guessing because he is sick now, he must have already been sick before we started taking the tamiflu and thats why hes sick now. whatever. So what does this mean for his surgery next Tuesday, well the nurse said we need to take him to the doctor tomorrow and if she just says its a cold and he has no major infection or the flu and is feeling better by Monday we are still good to go, otherwise we will have to push it back a week or so. I'm so hoping to get the OK, i have been an absolute stress case and cant imagine waiting another week or more, I WANT TO GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY. and lets just say im going CRAZY being in the house for 2 weeks straight, literally i have not seen the outside in two weeks, i think i have even started talking to myself lol 

this adorable picture was me and pax on valentines day while daddy and paisley were at the doctors office, i didnt want him going to the doctors in fear he would get sick. who new he still would. so as you could imagine our Valentines SUCKED, i bought everybody cute little valentines outfits, just for us to sit around in and paisley to sleep in all day. oh the joys of parenthood, i sure hope it gets easier. and im about 2 seconds away from putting my entire family in a freakin bubble because all this sickness is going to be the death of me. i officially HATE winter, we are seriously talking about moving to st george i will let you know if it actually happens.

Results of Paxton's ECHO

I'm not even sure how to start this post i'm so worn out and emotionally drained right now. I guess i will just start off with how the day started. We got to his ECHO appointment at 1:30. They do the usual measuring and weighing of him, no biggie. But all the trauma started with him needing a IV for his sedation, i kept being told by other people that it was just medicine he would swallow, so i was thrown off when i found out he was getting an IV, but surprisingly he did really well. (as well as a 1 yr. old would do) they were supposed to come get him soon after, they didn't come get him until almost an hour after they put the IV in, i can tell you how stressful this was. First off pax hasn't been able to eat since 10 that morning so he was starving. And second he HATED the IV he kept trying to pull it out. We were trying to distract him and entertain him as much as we could. When they finally came back and got him i was some what relieved because they were going to sedate him and i just thought oh good he will get a little nap in and the ECHO will go smoothly, OH BOY was i WRONG. You see you never know how someone will react to medications so we had no idea what we were in for. They give them 3 different medications to sedate them, the first one is just to calm him down and then the ones after that actually put him to sleep. When he felt the first one he got really funny and was actually giggling and thought it just felt funny. when they gave him the next 2 that were supposed to put him to sleep he all the sudden got really aggressive and mad, he actually stayed asleep for about 15 min, but the ECHO can take up to an hour. so he started waking up after only 15 min and i mean screaming his head off it was so traumatic for everybody, and at one point his oxygen got really low and he needed an oxygen mask. She even tried to give him the maximum dose she was allowed and it didn't do ANYTHING, he was still awake screaming his head off. finally at one point the lady performing the ECHO stopped and said she would go check with his cardiologist to see if she got all the images we needed so we could just be done. THANK GOD she got them so we then headed up to recovery. I thought once we were in recovery and got the IV out and we could hold him he would calm down, once again i was WRONG, we could not calm him down NOTHING was working this kid was PISSED. the poor thing even started throwing up, it was AWFUL. and to end the day we got bad news from the cardiologist. He has a condition called Coarctation of the aorta. Basically there is a part in his aorta that is narrow (almost a complete blockage) that is restricting blood flow to the rest of his body, so he needs surgery to widen this part so the blood can get to the rest of his body. If he doesn't get this surgery it is pretty much lethal. We know one thing he is getting some blood to the rest of his body because he has a pulse and decent blood pressure in his leg, so that tells the doctor its not a emergency surgery. So he will get the surgery within the next month and it is a 5-7 day stay at primary children's hospital. I just lost it and started bawling in front of the doctor, i could tell he felt really bad he just reassured me that he is going to be totally fine after this, and live a totally normal life and have no health problems from here on out. His heart was perfectly healthy it was only this one little narrow part in the aorta. so that was a relief, he said sometimes in these cases they will see problems with the heart.
 I still am trying to digest this news, it is so awful to know something is wrong with your baby, i just cant believe this is happening to us right now. We are home now and pax had some dinner and is in bed now doing much better. I just cant wait to get this behind us, honestly i would want the surgery done NOW just so we can get it over with. I will post when his surgery is scheduled once we find out. 
and i have no clue why the font changed all the sudden, sorry.

Paxton's 1 year and Heart murmur

So on January 24th pax had his 1 year appointment. It went normal for the first part they weighed him which he is a whopping 25 pounds and hes 31 inches. (he goes up to paisleys shoulder blades shes 3 1/2) Hes a big boy!!! Well we got worried when his doctor was listening to his heart for a really long time, and then listened again for a long time, finally after a long silence she said paxton has a heart murmur and i want you to go see a cardiologist at primary children's hospital. I wasn't sure how i felt, i don't work in the medical field so i didn't really understand what that meant. After talking to allot of people i was reassured that he was OK because tons of people have heart murmurs, and they usually are just that and nothing needs to be done about it. Well i was really nervous for his appointment with the cardiologist, which was today. It was pretty traumatizing. you see pax got his shots at his appointment on Thursday, well starting yesterday morning he was not doing good, he is having a pretty bad reaction to this round of shots, so all day yesterday he had a fever and was crying all day and looked awful. so this morning i really didn't want to take him to his appointment because i new he wasn't feeling good, but i was talked into taking him anyways. Well try doing an EKG on a baby that doesn't feel well, yea it was a joke he was SCREAMING his head off, he wanted NOTHING to do with anybody, not even mommy. Then we got him calmed down just for the doctor to come in and piss him off again and make him SCREAM his head off again. I was sweating bullets trying my hardest to calm him down, i feel like the doctor thought i was an idiot because i couldn't calm my own baby down. Pax was done, i mean he was pissed there was nothing anybody could do to calm him down. After fighting with him for a little while the doctor finally gave up and told us the news. He said he could hear something, even over all the screaming and crying, and that he needed to get and ultrasound of his heart or a ECHO. He said he has two outcomes of what could be wrong, i was pretty upset and frazzled so i cant tell you the medical terminology used. i just know one has to do with a valve that would need a minor surgery to fix it, and the other could be the flap that didn't close after he was born and that would need medication. I know either one of these outcomes is minor, and he will be totally healthy and fine, but that doesn't mean i didn't come home and bawl my eyes out, holding my baby telling him he will be OK. Because lets face it i'm scared to death that something else could be wrong, and i have this fear that we will go in for the ECHO and they will find something  worse. Because that's the mom anxiety inside of me. And we are talking about his HEART, its a scary thing. So we went to McDonald's after and he had chicken nuggets and fries and had a ball playing on the playground. And at dinner tonight i may have let him have some chocolate that he LOVED. I have been cuddling him allot tonight and playing more then usual with him. His appointment is next Wednesday, they will have to sedate him for the ECHO, and the doctor said whatever treatment he will need after the ECHO they will probably do that day in the cath lab.  So i will update then when we know more what is wrong and the treatment for it. until then i'm just going to try and not over think this too much and die from intense anxiety.

Pax is walking

Pax is a walking man. Its so cute to see his little body walk around. He still combines walking and crawling, which im glad hes not full blown walking yet because once he does i know im in trouble.

Paisleys dance pictures

These are Paisleys dance pictures. (minus the group photo) They danced to over the rainbow the ukulele version. I cant believe how grown up she is.

Early Birthday present......

Look at this beauty. I designed it myself, and by that i mean picked out colors and fabric. But still i had no idea how it was going to turn out, and i LOVE it. Even my dad said "thats totally a tiffany table" hahaha its true i know what i like. Greg paid for it for my birthday, he said he really likes it and i did a good job!!!

Paxton's 1st Birthday

It was my monkeys 1st birthday yesterday, yes he is already 1!!!

 Birthday decorations, most of them i made.

 Greg made his smash cake, so cute.

 More decorations.

 We did a banana split bar. (all the stuff isn't out yet)

 A final shot of the decorations.

 Birthday boy ready to party.

 He was in a really good mood.

 opening some gifts.

 some of the guests.

 opening more gifts.

 and more!!!!

 his cake, ready for him to blow out the candle.

 He got really shy when we sang happy birthday to him. ( i see ellie)

 blowing out his candle.

 checking out his cake.

 Not sure what to think of it.....

 but figured it out and LOVED IT!!!

It was such a fun birthday party with all the family. He was so goofy and funny the entire time he loved everything and put on quite a show!!! (unlike paisley who cried her entire 1st birthday)